nut hugger
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
