Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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