she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
