I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
