For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
