a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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