Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
