So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize