One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
