DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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