You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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