So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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