She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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