I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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