Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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