Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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