Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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