.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
