Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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