She is in my trunk
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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