I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
