please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
