I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
