guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
