I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
