He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize