I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize