Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
