he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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