yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
