Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
