careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
