Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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