just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
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Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
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Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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