Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
