if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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