Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize