So drunk, too bad you don't want this
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
