i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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