It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
