It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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