I accidentally had phone sex last night
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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