i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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