My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
