More tranny stories later!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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