How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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