You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
