Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
