i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
