I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!