i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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