At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
