Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
