i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize