a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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