i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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