Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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