WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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